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Monday, 09 June 2008

  • A Hopeless Girl Always And Forever....

    It's like they steal your identity and try to make it look better than it really is.
    What's the point in stealing an identity then, if the real one isn't good enough?

    I don't get it, and I think I never will.

    It's like when somebody really wants to hurt you and with every word they say to you you feel the words piercing trough your body trying to eat their way into your heart, to stay there forever. To remind you just how much hate can build up in one single body.

    And when you try to scratch it out, all that happens is that there will be more opening for new words and new pain.

    You can't erase it.

    You'll have to live with it forever.






    promises are broken
    dreams are let go
    memories fade to ashes
    when the world turns black and cold
    my heart has been broken
    i turn my back on the world
    i faded from existince
    when you let me go
    i know i messed up
    it's all my fault it's through
    maybe if i had thought this over
    i would know what to do
    all i thought about was us being together forever
    and now im just lost and confused
    i never saw this coming
    but i guess i was in the back of my mind
    when you said it was over
    i just kind of died
    and now im dying for real
    please don't miss me
    for i am nothing but a hopeless girl

Friday, 11 January 2008

Wednesday, 02 January 2008

  • So it's officially the new year, i've been thinking alot. There are certain people that have been in my life for quite sometime. I swore to someone that no matter what i would never give up on them. I feel that I have broken that promise, i'm trully sorry. One of my friends told me never give up on anything in my life. Well i've tried so hard but giving up is easiest. I've been with you from the start, you and I have been thru so much. We both went down the same path, I changed but you haven't. So many people love and care about you. So many people gave up on you and I have tried so hard not to. I don't know what else to do but give up, you don't want to save your self. Tell me please how to save you with out drownding my self. You were doing so well but now i look at you and it breaks my heart. We have lost touch again and i feel that it's my fault. I haven't been there for you like i promised. I'm so sorry. What is there to do if you don't want my help? You have destroyed so many friendships so many relationships. Not just with me but with everyone. It's past the point of teenage rebelion now it's just plain stupidity. I'm sorry but I have to give up, I tried for years but now it's time. I will always be here when you need me but i can't. Your drownding I offerd my hand but you just try to take everyone down witth you. I do hope you realize what you are doing before it really is too late. I'm sorry...

Monday, 10 December 2007

  • What still hurts the most

    This year is almost over and even tho everything is diffrent. So much has changed and nothing's changed at the same time. It's amazing how the one's you think will always be your friend are the one's that leave you. I've been thru so much and i've changed so much in this year alone. There's been good alot of good times and bad ones at the same time. I finally came to realize who my true friends are. I finally opend my eyes and realized i can't keep cleaning up my dad's messes anymore. I went from being care free and happy go lucky to just not caring anymore. I've lost alot of friendships this year, some i will always miss. The other's were just steping stones i guess you could say. My bestfirned and I have become so close and so distant at the same time. I came so close to loosing her this year, we really put our friendship to the test. It's been a year now since i got reunited with my Sister and 2 brothers and since i found out my brother is also dying. He has survied for a year with his cancer, i have not gotten to truly know him or any of the rest of them for that matter. I've come to realize that shit happens it really does, there's really nothing you can do about it. I have managed for a year to keep up with writing what used to be one of my closest friend's who is in prision now. I just really came to realize last night what all has happend just in 2007. I feel so old when i think of everything i have been thru just this year. Also I bulit stroger friendships with people i would've never imagined i would become close with. I took a chance on my heart and my feelings, i decided to let my self fall for someone. Not that it did me any good, i still want what i can't have. At the end of the day this i what i've come to realize, i'm not perfect i've been thru alot. My life is finally heading in a direction that it need's to. There are some i hope to keep on the way there but i know few will stay. Even tho i fell for someone i can't have at least i don't have to wonder what if on telling him my feelins.


Monday, 03 December 2007

  • Well life's pretty boring, i work alot fight with my mom even more. Found someone amazing, for once in my life i think i am truly happy. Yea so hopefully it works out :]

    I'm in Major
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murdermegorgeous

  • Visit murdermegorgeous's Xanga Site
    • Name: Ally
    • Country: United States
    • State: Texas
    • Birthday: 5/28/1990
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 12/27/2005

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